Well the the effects of the steroids have worn off now again. I’m feeling rather tired again and completely exhausted this evening.
After finishing work this afternoon, I went to town to meet Charito (my wife). I did a little shopping met Charito, a little more shopping and then went to Asda for some food shopping and off to home. My feet were hurting and tingling and I found it wasn’t as easy to breath.
By the time I got home I was very thirsty and just wanted to rest.
Well today was my last day at work before having my two week holiday… so I thought….
Actually yesterday was my last day, but I forgot that I had booked the Friday off as well until one of the project managers came over to see me and actually said to me ‘Your off now for a couple of weeks aren’t you?'” – I said no I’m in tomorrow! We then had a conversation and I realised that I had booked the Friday off as well but I had forgot!!!
I hadn’t finished all that I wanted to get done before having the time off, so I went into work this morning to make sure everything was up to date and handed over.
That will teach me to always look at my diary!
Been very busy at work – I’m having to do three peoples roles at the moment and it is just too much. When I originally decided to continue to go to work while having my treatment I had agreed that I would only do as much as I could and attend only in a consultancy capacity as it would be too much for me to deal with the Cancer regime as well as cope with the day to day stresses and workload. However as previously mentioned that hasn’t quite worked out like it was supposed to and I am continually being given more and more work to do.
I have told them that I am evaluating if I should go off on the sick and just stay at home and rest. So the next two weeks are going to interesting to see if I find it easier or worse at home and not going to work.
I’m on my second day of my Dexamethazone 4 day cycle. I always feel so much better while I’m on them. It give me the lift I need to get through the day. I still get tired when going up and down stairs but I have more energy than normal and I can concentrate a little more as well.
Then end of the week I will be back to normal though – Normal at the moment is lack of energy, aching all over and no concentration. Especially on Thursdays and Fridays. Thursdays being my Chemo day and feeling sick and Friday still have the sickness feeling. By Saturday I will just feel very tired. But at least I am off work then for two weeks.
Work was busy for me today. Very tired in the morning and didn’t get to sit at my desk until after lunch. Fortunately I started on the Dexamethazone today which helped get me through the day. So hopefully should have a bit of energy for the next few days.
I got an update from HR and basically I will get paid the same amount of money if I am on the sick or if I stay in work, so at least I don’t have to worry about that which is good and I’m very thankful that they have done that for me. I know a lot of people will say its and easy choice and go on the sick, but that’s not me. I’m very committed to doing my best in whatever I do and I don’t like to let people down especially the team, but I’m not going to do anything that makes me feel worse. So I’m going to see how this week goes I’m then off for a couple of weeks. I was supposed to be in Peru, but obviously cancelled that but the time was previously booked off so still having the time off at home. then when I go back I will see how the following week or two goes and then make a decision as to what I am going to do.
The weekend was ok I didn’t go anywhere, only stayed at home. I was a little tired, but not too bad. I was quite happy not to be at work so I enjoyed the weekend and sorted out some things in the office (spare room) before next week. James is coming to stay for a couple of weeks so trying make a little more room for the spare bed to open up.
Had a few moments today where I felt sick, but after a few moment, the feeling went by. Work is getting more and more stressful – I’m not sure how much more I can take on a daily basis. I have had a meeting with HR to discuss going on the sick and they will be getting back to me early next week.
When I first found out I had Cancer and started on the Chemo therapy they agreed that I only need to do as much as I could and not to do too much. It seems that some are not aware of this and I’ve been given more to do, which quite frankly I’m not really capable of doing at the moment, at least not with the full commitment that I would like. I don’t have the concentration or feel up to working a normal day, let alone taking on more work!
So I need to make a decision – do I go on the sick now or continue to push myself to do more than I am doing now!
I didn’t sleep very well last night. I don’t know why, but I was just lying there awake. I did consider getting up and trying to read, but that isn’t something that I can do much of when I’m wide awake at the moment with my concentration levels the way they are, so decided to stay in bed and try and get back to sleep. I did manage to drop off a few times, but not for long. Every time I looked at the clock I was hoping it was much later (or earlier) than it was.
By the time the alarm went off, I really wanted to stay in bed! I forced myself to get up and made my way to the bathroom, which is only about 15 foot away from my bed, but felt like 15 miles. I’m just exhausted!
Today is my Chemo day as well, so I don’t anticipate that I will feel better later on. I’ve decided to have the day off work today. With feeling tired to start with and taking my Cyclophosphomide I really don’t think I’m going to be of any use to anyone today. I’d rather be at home feeling ill than in work wishing I was at home. At least here I can go to bed whenever I feel like it for a rest.
I thought I would let you all know that I have another blog that you may want to follow or have a look at. It has nothing to do with Myeloma cancer. It is more about general things – some technical and some just observations. I will be adding tutorials etc to this blog so if you would like a quick guide to something that you can’t find anywhere else, let me know and I will see if I can write one for you. You can find the blog here http://seantiernan.wordpress.com/
If you follow me on Twitter I will be posting updates on there as well as tweeting about other things.
Today is a tiring day. Not done much, but yesterday I started to feel as though my chest was hurting like asthma and today it has carried on. I’m tired when walking and my fingers and feet are tingling.
I think it is a combination of a number of things. The Pentamidine the increase in Thalidomide and my general fatigue. As mentioned yesterday, I was told that the Pentamidine could cause a side effects like asthma and I’m pretty sure that is what it is; however as I am the only one in the family who doesn’t have or ever had asthma it is hard to tell, but from what people have told me I imagine this is what it is like (although I’m sure it is much worse for real sufferers).
The tingling is related to the Thalidomide. I have had it before and it normally goes away after a day or two when they adjust the amount I take. I started off on 100mg a night I’m now on 200mg. It makes my feet, hands (including fingers), lips and tongue feel as though it has pins and needles.
The general tiredness/fatigue is a bit of a pain as well. I was hoping that now my blood count is going back up I wouldn’t be as tired on a daily basis. It is a struggle to get from my desk to the canteen to get a drink, but I know if I don’t do some exercise it will only get worse. A little is better than none at all.
I could quite easily stay at home and rest and relax which I can do if I want. I have already arranged to only go into work when I feel like it. I think I’m doing quite well going in as much as I have done. I can’t really concentrate much and I know I’m not as pro-active as I was when I was well. For me though I would rather be of a little use in the office than no use at home just vegetating in front of the TV.
Personally I need to push myself that little bit or I will just give up and think what’s the point – little day to day challenges are what keeps me going.
… talking of challenges … I’m off for a long walk to the canteen to get a coffee.
